by Steve Timmer

Jan 7, 2013, 7:30 PM

Mechanical penis etiquette at the Capitol

Here’s a tip for all you guys with big amygdalas who will be visiting the Capitol this upcoming session. Do not wear you mechanical penis on your back, like this fellow in the gallery at a House hearing on the Shoot First bill a session or two ago; it belongs on the front where your real one would go.

The two most likely things to happen to the fellow in the photo are: 1) he drops his piece in the toilet when he drops trou to do his bidness, or 2) a Jesus Quintana comes along. Ugly, either way.

Or, you can do what the Game Warden does: conceal it. That way, it is there as a comfort and confidence builder in case somebody like Phyllis Kahn comes along and asks you a question.